The language of love, cyberlove, that is
Cyber-dating, online dating to you, is fraught with riddles. Truth telling seems to be a prominent value in this culture but from where I sit, is in short supply. Isn’t it bad enough that we talk in bytes and the abbreviated language of text messaging? But, alas, online dating speaks in code.
How would I know?
In my field research, for my single friends that is, ahem, I’ve observed lots of misleading dialogue. One must approach this ever popular landscape a bit like Sherlock Holmes. Proceeding with caution is highly advised!
Ok, here goes some of the cybertalk that I’ve unearthed, for my friends that is…
Weight – Average build - translation: overweight; Atheletic build: wishful thinking
Height – 5′ 11″ – translation: 5′ 9″ (or short means SHORTER)
Recent picture – translation: within this millennium
Income – “will tell you later,” translation: broke
Occupation – “self-employed,” translation: jobless
Marital status – “divorced,” translation: separated or thinking about it
Age – 50 year old man, translation: 55 or over – 50 year old woman, translation: 53 or over
Age preference – under 40 for a 50 plus man, translation: jerk
Age preference – under 40 for a 50 plus woman, fun!
And, when one takes that technological leap from cyberspace to that archaic communication system known as the telephone, listen carefully. When a man refers to someone as “them,” he means “her.” That’s okay, it’s the first phone call. I wouldn’t allow jealousy to rear it’s monstrous head until, let’s see… date 3?
If there is no picture posted for “professional reasons,” it’s because he doesn’t want people who recognize him to tell his wife. Yes, it happens.
What about the cyber-dater who wants to remain “invisible?”
Stalker.
Oh, and get this. There are actually men out there advocating “polyamory.” Know what that means? It’s code for “I can sleep with as many women as I want without you stopping me.” Sheesh. Another example of arrested emotional development and an out for perpetuating immature relationship behavior. Commitment you see is either “ownership” or so trusting that nothing will threaten it.
I don’t buy it.
Take a lighthearted gander into this barroom-on-a-computer-screen world. Where truth is a very relative condition and numerous liberties are taken. Harmless? Not exactly, but with the proper dose of caution and due diligence, one does not have to be completely paranoid about encountering a dangerous person.
Remember, background checks also exist in cyberspace.
Language certainly continues to grow more and more elastic and saying what we mean and meaning what we say is beginning to sound old fashioned.
But, if you do love it, finding the codes and the bastardization of language can be a fun sport for us crossword, scrabble-loving, puzzler types.
Send me your language faux pas, double entendres and cybertalk. I want to crack this code once and for all.
For my single friends, that is.
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[...] relationships assumptions misinformation bigotry) The Associated Press: Former newspaper rivals The language of love, cyberlove, that is – helpmewithmybook.com 01/05/2009 Cyber-dating, online dating to you, is fraught with riddles [...]
Witty and mostly accurate
And what percentage of your direct experience did your numbers represent?