As far back as she can remember, Ethlie Ann Vare was boy crazy. And, because her father was rarely around, she developed “Affection Deficit Disorder,” her own version of ADD which would later manifest in a series of bad choices when it came to relationships. She had her first sexual experience at eighteen and by age twenty-two, had slept with 75 men. It wasn’t until Ethlie was forty-years-old and had a couple of marriages under her belt that she acknowledged she had a problem and sought help. When she attended a self-help group of sex and love addicts she had the revelation that she, too, was a love addict. Like most of the people in the room, she couldn’t discern the difference between love and longing. And, like them, she had a proclivity for choosing unavailable men.
Eventually successful in her own recovery, Vare, an award-winning author, journalist and screenwriter, is now in a position to help others in her own unique way to recognize and overcome what is truly a debilitating disease. Her offering, Love Addict: Sex, Romance, and Other Dangerous Drugs (HCI Books – September/October 2011 – $14.95 – ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-1595-4), is told in a witty yet insightful voice and it’s anything but your run-of-the-mill clinical book on addiction. Vare’s book is filled with war stories from celebrity love junkies and her own healing wisdom which comes from having spent a decade studying the pathology of love and sex addiction.
With respect for traditional check points, Vare sprinkles humor throughout Love Addict. She suggests: “You might be a sex or love addict if…”
- You leave a second (or third, or fourth) voice mail message before the first message is returned, just in case (a) she didn’t hear it properly; (b) he’s shy and needs encouragement: (c) maybe you dialed wrong: (d) maybe you forgot to leave a callback number; (e) maybe she called and you missed it…Pick a letter. I’ve got the whole alphabet.
- You changed your route home to pass your love object’s house. Extra points for parking outside the house and waiting. (Standing across the street counts, if you live in a big city. Extra points for standing in the rain.)
- You have checked your lover’s underwear.
- Your Life List of sex partners is in the three figures. (For rock stars and professional athletes, make that four figures).
- You keep a Life List of sex partners.
- You really believe you can save that [stripper, convict, biker, serial philanderer, suicide survivor] with the depth and the purity of your love.
Love Addict gives love and sex addicts a chance to face their addiction in a nonthreatening manner and start the process of recovery. The author set out to: 1) Explain what love addiction is; 2) Let you decide if you’re hooked on sex, romance or relationship; 3) Introduce you to some fellow travelers; 4) Provide tools to help you extricate yourself from your misery; 5) And make you laugh, because if you’re a love addict, you’ve cried enough already.
Celebrity contributors include: Supermodel Amber Smith, Justin Caroll, Fashion designer Monah Li, and others.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Award-winning author, journalist, and screenwriter Ethlie Ann Vare has survived four marriages, drug addiction, jail, and network television. The wit behind the hot humor blog Affection Deficit Disorder, Ethlie started out as a rock-n-roll disc jockey, then became known as an expert on pop culture and a syndicated newspaper columnist. Her books range from biographies of superstars (Stevie Nicks, Ozzy Osbourne, Legend: Frank Sinatra and the American Dream) to adventures in distant galaxies (Andromeda: The Broken Places). She is a featured speaker on campus nationwide thanks to her popular history books about women inventors: Mothers of Invention and Patently Female. Most recently she has been writing for TV shows from the ridiculous (Beastmaster) to the sublime (CSI).
LOVE ADDICT: Sex, Romance and Other Dangerous Drugs
By Ethlie Ann Vare
Foreword by Margaret Cary, M.D., M.B.A., M.P.H.