As if it wasn’t enough to see Rachel Getting Married to stir my emotions like crazy. My senses were unceremoniously aroused further when I happened upon my car with its shattered front windshield. Apparently, while I was tearing up over Rachel, someone was hurling a sharp object onto my poor little, four month old Toyota’s window. 

Round perforation like a bullet hole, sprinkles of glass on the dashboard, with no sign of the criminal, two young policeman came to my aid and basically said, “call your insurance company.” I did. By midweek, my little economy ride should be all better.

This post lead-in wasn’t intended to elicit your sympathy, but rather to set the stage for my report about one of the most real and moving films I’ve seen in a long time — maybe even of all time.

Rachel Getting Married is about a wedding. Big surprise.

But, this wedding is such a close up of a dysfunctional family that it’s sometimes hard to look at. Kym, the recovering addict character, is on leave from rehab to attend her sister’s wedding and in her short visit home, stirs up a dizzying hornet’s nest which includes lots of yelling, crying, humiliation and even some fisticuffs.

The movie could have been called “It’s All About Kym” but that might have prevented you from paying attention to the flaws of the supporting family characters with their icy personas and/or diametrically opposing enabler behaviors. Kym’s history is textbook addict with stints in and out of rehab, accidents, and most importantly the bogarting of all parental attention for herself (poor Rachel).

What separates this from just another treatise on family and addiction is that Kym carries another traumatic experience so devastating that one can’t even imagine surviving it. I won’t reveal what this is but as heart wrenching as it is to view, it makes her tragic character more sympathetic.

Poor Kym.

As for the acting, the characters for Kym (Anne Hatheway) and Rachel(Rosemarie DeWitt) are so convincing that at times you really feel like you’re watching someone’s home movies. (Who would shoot movies like this, I’m not sure!) So raw and true they were, but the role of their mother (Debra Winger) was so stiffly played and chilling that you wanted to just grab her by the neck and shake her. (which sort of happens in the movie)  The father’s (Bill Irwin) warm, fuzzy counterpart affects you quite differently. You want to shake him for other reasons In a word to all of them, brilliant.

For music lovers, the eclectic sounds running through the entire film were extremely well selected but at times you wanted to say, as the step-mother character did in one scene, “give it a rest, will you?” I love much of the internationally flavored music but couldn’t stay dry-eyed during the groom’s Neil Young serenade to his bride at the alter. Can you imagine?

This is a Jonathan Demme (Heart of Gold, Philadelphia, Something Wild, oh and a small film you may remember, The Silence of the Lambs, to name a few) movie who is in the habit of making great films. Rachel Getting Married is sort of documentary-like, but not really. I just think  it’s so artfully done that it captures real life with amazing poignancy.

If you have alcoholism or addiction anywhere in your family, I am certain that this movie will speak to you as vividly as a twelve step counselor. And, if you don’t, you will see how completely crippling these diseases can be to everyone close to these diseases. What you will also see is what potentially leads up to acquiring them. 

These diseases are treacherous and unforgiving, but familial love is an ingredient that may not be a cure but a welcome balm in the perpetual process of healing.

Go see it. 

Bring kleenex.

And, park in a well-lit parking spot and make sure your insurance is up to date.